Actually, I have a lot of swear words in my mind right now, buzzing inside my head, trying to get out from my mouth. But up till now, I still manage to hold it inside, trying to push it far far away. If possible, in the dumpster where it belongs. Than some unlucky people will be fortunate not to hear me cursing. I have no intention to right it here as well, so, this post is still readable even for kids. :D
It's been a long week last week, and this week will be just the same. I still have the passion to be a landscape architect(and oh I will be!). But I might have, just a little tiny bit of dislike of going to the studio(especially during studio hours). I'm not saying that I will never go to the studio after this, it's just that maybe going to the studio is not as much fun as it was before.
I see everyone was tense. And tense right now is different from before. Last semester even when we were very tense, had a lot of work to do, but we manage to put up a smile, cracked-up with a few jokes, took pictures of us doing stupid things. But now it was all gone. It's like a sad winter. Cold and blank. No merriness. Just dense tense.
I don't know if it happens to the others, but from what I saw, yes, it's gone. I don't know if ever we're gonna find the happiness we felt last semester again afterwards. I just hope that for the next semester, we will get back what we have lost; the joy, the fun of doing work.
Till then.
Cheers(if you can, you're lucky so don't waste it).
I hope to be this happy again.
i m supposed to b a good role model, a mentor for my mentees.
ReplyDeletebut, sori akram. i'm just not a good mentor for u to learn from.
n i hv no words of wisdom or encouragement to gv to u azam, as i'm also drowning in emotion right now. i cant say "come on azam, i kno u can do it" as i'm lying on my bed, skipping my classes n studio.
i think i'm just hopeless right now n i bring n drag the dark cloud around with me, causing ppl around me all wet with my weary rain.
ika-aku xtau sebenarnya nak sedih pasal ape, kecewa pasal apa, bengang pasal apa.kadang2 rasa marah tu muncul jugak walaupun memang nak tahan.tpi nak buat macam mane kan.
ReplyDeleteanon-i know u. sebenarnye kau boleh je. bende ni truly personal problem, nothing to with u and ur dark clouds. aku teringat satu lain yang selalu bermain-main dalam otak aku, satu lain yang aku rasa bermakna sangat2, aku dapat masa aku baca 'the kite runner'. 'there's a way to be good again'. aku selalu fikir tentang ayat tu. tapi cuma fikir.aku tau jalan clear apa nak buat, aku tau apa nak buat, cuma aku xtau bila aku boleh buat.