If I Have A Little More Time (Part Four-Final Part)

Here's the final part of 'If I Have A Little More Time'! Missed the earlier parts? Here you go!

Part 1-http://bit.ly/pALUC0

Part 2-http://bit.ly/qu1sl0

Part 3-http://bit.ly/nYaffR

And here's the final part, enjoy!

IF I HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME (PART FOUR-FINAL PART)

No one spoke anything for a minute after the others went down. Mom made them lunch.

‘The last time, you wanted to see me, you wanted to tell me about this right?’ she asked. Her voice cracked.

‘Yes, and no,’ I replied. ‘Yes I really wanted to tell you, but no, I’ve made up my mind not to tell anyone until the time comes,’ I continued. We fell quite again. Even as the cold wind blew in the winter, but at the moment, it felt just hot, and tense.

‘I don’t want to ask why, you made it clear you want to let us stay happy,’ she pointed, ‘but you are wrong,’ there it was. She argued to mostly everything I said, even as I’m dying on my deathbed! ‘We choose to be happy, Jeremy, not you. What happened to you, is, by far the most terrible things happened in my life so far, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy Jer.’

‘What do you mean? I thought I saved you guys the trouble,’ I said.

‘Save us from the trouble? No you’re not, you’re saving the trouble for us instead!’ she snapped and got up from her seat at walked towards me. ‘Time didn’t matter Jer, what matters is, what happened to you. You don’t think we can handle that if you had told us months back? We can, Jeremy, we totally can. We might cry for a while but then we know at least we had some time left to spend with you, to keep you company! You telling us now, nearing your—,’ she choked a bit, ‘—nearing your end of time, is not how we wanted to know.’

I never thought of that. I always thought the news would make them sad, and be pitiful to me all the time. Now I felt selfish again. All this time I avoided being selfish, but I’m acting like one nonetheless.

‘I, I didn’t know that. All this time I really feel like I need to care of you guys,’ I said, re-evaluating the things I’ve done but she cut me before I could finish my say. ‘That is where you are wrong, we didn’t need you to take care of us, we’re not sick! You are! And you should have let us taking care of you,’ she snapped again. And she’s always right, that’s a pain. But she really was a great girl. But now she went out with another guy.

‘We broke up,’ she said as if she knew what I was thinking. ‘I don’t think it’s fair for him that I actually am in love with another guy.’ She held my hands and I knew exactly who that another guy was.

‘I love you,’ I said.

***

KATY

It was early spring when Jeremy passed. His funeral was lovely, on his grave was written ‘A man loving others more than himself’. His parents picked that for they knew the whole story. We had two weeks together before he passed. And everytime he went back to sleep, or felt like sleeping he would whisper ‘I love you’ to me. Towards the end, he didn’t speak much, I mostly read to him. His mom was happy enough to let me stay in their guestroom to help taking care of him. They wanted me to stay there, ‘he’ll want you to stay,’ they said when I tried to decline the offer. His parents took care of him when I left for school, and I took charge when I arrived. The others often stopped by to see him, Justin and Fred the most; they’d stayed for dinner and then left. It was great.

I had his letters in my hand, I changed my mind every second about wanting to read the letter or not. I haven’t heard anything from the others, but maybe they too have trouble wanting to opened the envelope.

At last, I ripped the envelop open and open up the folded letter. He wrote a page;

Dear Katy,

It is my wished that you read this after I’m gone. But you should always remember this, I am in love you with you, no matter what.

I’ve never been sure of almost anything in my life, but after I quit the school and then you broke up with me, I felt something else. I realized I had a little courage, and that’s when I went to the hospital to check. I always knew that there’s something wrong with me, but little did I know I’m going to die because of it. I never told anyone this, but when Dr. Riley told me I had leukemia, I laughed!

And I know, the day you knew what I’m having, you’ll be around, so I thanked you in advance, just in case, I didn’t wish you (but it you don’t it’s okay, though, I’m sure you had better things to do). But I knew you would.

I’m sorry for all the things I made that pained you, I know I’ve done a lot but you should know you have always been the best interest in my heart. You have always been, even since we were just a kid. You’ve been an angel to me, whether you know it or not, but you’re always are. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to say goodbye to you, but if you read this, that means I’m gone.

Katherine Greene,

You are very special to me, and forever always, ever since the first time we met when you shared your lunch with me in first grade. I remembered stumbling and my lunch was all over the place, and then I saw this pretty little girl helped me, and later on she became my bestfriend, and then my girlfriend. It was amazing to see both of us evolve from that very moment.

Don’t afraid to go out, the guy you’ve been seeing, he’s kinda cute (kidding!). If ever he’s mean to you, I’ll haunt him!

Now, I don’t have anything else to write, no, there’s too much to write actually, so very little time left for me. I wish I have a little more time. But you should know, I am in love with you, no matter what.

With Love;

Jeremy Woods

I cried. I didn’t shake it, I let it out. The fact that he remembered the first time we met, that was amazing. I wish to see more, I wish he had written more. I wish he had a little more time.

If I Have A Little More Time (Part Three)

Hey guys, part three is here! If you missed part one and part two, the links are here!

Part 1-http://bit.ly/pALUC0

Part 2-http://bit.ly/qu1sl0

Enjoy ya!

IF I HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME (PART THREE)

When I woke up, I was in a green scrub, and my mom and dad was beside me. Their eyes were all red and teary, I could only guess why.

‘Oh you’re awake!’ mom cried, relieved. I don’t know how long I’ve been passed out. I felt weak, but nothing more than that, no aching, just weak. I felt something on my hand, well, they put water in me that’s fine. But I was really hungry.

‘Dad, I’m really hungry,’ I said. Dad said the food will come in a minute and he dashed out of the room.

‘How long have I, passed out mom?’ I asked. She was still sobbing. ‘Two, two days,’ she replied. ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ she asked. I was afraid of that.

She told me that our neighbour, Steven Woods saw me collapsed and ran out to pick me up, he called his son to get the two of them out and called the ambulance. She was so scared to see me on the pavement, unconscious and asked if I was dead. Mr. Woods checked my pulse, and he said I was just passing out and then the ambulance arrived and brought me here. Since I’ve been coming to the hospital quite a while, Dr. Riley took to care on me. He told my parents about the leukemia, and told them I’ve been coming here from time to time, and insisted on not having any treatment.

‘Why would you hide such thing?’ she asked, tearfully. I looked at her; I put my straight face one. I didn’t cry, I’ve been accepting this fate for months now. But I that didn’t help with the questions I’ve been dreading, simply because I don’t have a good enough answer for them. I sighed.

‘Because I don’t want you guys to be pitiful for me. Look, mom, dad, I’ve never been happier than I was for the last eight months, we had a pretty good time didn’t we? To tell you the truth, this cancer is the best thing I’ve ever had, and if I can keep it for a longer time, I don’t mind at all,’ I told them. They hugged me, and I thought they might understand that after I explained to them. I had no intention to lie or hide anything from them, but the fact that I did just that made us a happier family, I didn’t want to throw that away.

At that moment they hugged me, I saw everything from my past; the time we painted my room, the time I played outside for the first time, my first bike ride, and then the time I peeped my mom crying and dad at his side calming her—that’s when I knew I will never had brothers and sisters, and the time I moved out and they were very happy for me, and then the time I called them and told them I dropped out. I didn’t see their face at that time, but I knew, they were very disappointed in me. Never did they get mad at me, never! And I always appreciate that about them.

***

They let me out of the hospital after a while, and I was brought back home. There will be nurses from time to time coming to check in and Dr. Riley will stop by too, they told me. I was fine with that. I hate the moody hospital, too monotonous they make me sad and hopeless. I love it back home, I missed my blue room, it felt cool and nurturing as opposed to the plain white hospital rooms. Mom and dad insisted I stayed in my room at all times, they’d do everything. Mom brought up breakfasts, lunches and dinner, and sometimes especially at dinner they’ll come up and ate with me on the bed.

It was winter already when I decided I need to come clean with my friends. I’m not sure how much time left, but I’m pretty sure it’s depleting fast. I called the closest to me of course, Justin, Katy, Bob, Fred, Tiffany and Joan, and a day letter they all came up. For Katy, I had to tell Tiffany and Joan to take her no matter what, drag her if she didn’t want to. They all asked me for what but I told them to wait till the next day. ‘It’s important,’ I told everyone before I hung up.

They came with two taxis. I pulled myself together from the bed just to watch them from my bedroom window. I saw Katy, thank god she’s coming, but she didn’t look at all happy.

I heard them climbing the stairs and I paced back to my bed, sat down and heard a knock on the door. I tried summoning all my strength to say ‘Come in’ but it came as a squeak. Slowly they entered my room, first Justin, then Fred, then Bob and Jenny, then Tiffany and Joan, and Katy was last to enter the room. I signaled closing the door and she half-heartedly closed it softly behind her.

They came closer to me, dad had brought up a few chairs before they came. The girls sat down and the guys sat on my bed.

‘What’s going on?’ asked Justin. ‘You look terrible,’ he added. I smiled forcefully. I knew they were worried. I could sense that from the look of her face. I looked at each and everyone of them. I wish I had good news.

‘I have cancer.’ No one said anything for a long while. I saw how they reacted. They all froze.

‘No way,’ said Bob, breaking the tension. ‘Don’t pull that kinda joke man!’ he said as he got to his feet.

‘I’m not joking! I’ve known it for months now,’ I told them.

‘Is that why you quite school?’ Tiffany asked, I could see her eyes beaded with tear. I shook my head.

‘Is this how you’re telling us? I thought we were best friends Jer!’ Justin raised his voice. I don’t know what to answer. There are a lot of questions I wished I could give satisfactory answers to. But I couldn’t.

‘I’m sorry, but I don’t want to burden you guys with my problems back then, I’m glad we had fun, that’s why I asked you all out, I wanted to tell you, but seeing you guys happy, I don’t want to destroy that!’

‘You caught us off guard Jer! We didn’t expect this kind of thing,’ Justin added, still anger of tone in his voice. I couldn’t look at any of them. They were all teary now, even Fred the biggest man among us friends.

‘Look, you guys have been great friends to me, you guys are part of me. I don’t want to be selfish knowing that you guys have your own pain to handle. I don’t care how many times I can get leukemia and died and live again, never that I want to have you worried for nothing. I’m telling you, I’ve never been happier. If cancer is what it takes to make me happy, I’d say bring them more! I love you guys so much to think of making you guys like this!’ I told them. I didn’t cry. Of course I didn’t. I picked my time, I picked my moment to cry on my own. Not in front of this people. I promised to myself they might as well cry the whole river, but I won’t shed a single tear for this.

‘Stop crying, Bob, if you don’t mind, I have a box on the table, can you bring it please?’ Bob strode to the table, and paced back slowly as if the box were made of glass. I asked him to opened the box and passed everyone a letter each address to one of them, except Jenny. ‘Don’t get offended, you’re a friend of mine too, but I knew these people almost all my life.’ I threw her a smile. Even Jenny, who I officially only once shed a tear, I didn’t expect that.

‘What’s this?’ asked Joan.

‘That is a letter I wrote specially to you guys, no letters are the same, and my only wish is, if you could read that after, you know, after I’m gone.’ And the word gone they weep again and told me if I didn’t shut up about me being dying they’d kill me instead. It was funny, even as they weep and they all crowd my bed and hugged me. But not Katy. She was silent the whole time. I whispered to the other to wait outside so I can have a private chat with Katy.

If I Have A Little More Time (Part Two)

Hey guys, this is part two of the short story, if you missed the first part here's the link! http://bit.ly/pALUC0

Don't forget to leave comments okay! and share it if you like :)

IF I HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME (PART TWO)

‘Hey, man? Wanna hang out? Yeah, that’ll be great! Thanks man!’ I hung up the phone. I called Justin it’s been quite a while since I met him. I called Bob and Fred asking them out, they all agreed which was great. I talked to a few girls to, Katy still refuse to answer my call which was fine to me for now, but I did ring Joan and Tiffany; they’re the closest girls next to Katy, well right before we broke up.

We met at Lorenzo’s and thank god it’s not full. I came with Justin, and we met Bob and Jenny, his new girlfriend, and Fred. Half an hour later Joan and Tiffany showed up.

‘Sorry, we had a few extra lines to write for you-know-who,’ said Joan and we all cracked up. I remembered how much fun it was the last time they hang out, as legal dudes never had so much time to enjoy as much as the other. Some of the professors like to set out a pain in the ass assignments almost every weekend which consumes a lot of times behind thick law books. ‘Nah, it’s okay, at least you came!’ I said and raised my glass, ‘to pain in the ass, Law!’ and they all cheered.

We talked about many things, from the cruel professors, to the school’s new president, to the situation in Gaza, to almost everything. It’s really been a long time; I missed all of us going out.

‘And how have you been?’ Justin asked. It’s my time on the spotlight; I could come out clean, or I could lie. I need the fun though, not the tilted ‘I’m really sorry’ heads.

‘I’ve never been better!’ Well, it’s so much easier to lie.

Did I wish to tell them about what I’m having? Yes I pretty much want to let out what I really feel, but I feel there’s no need to pull them into this at the same time. I’m happy there are happy so why want to ruin that? It won’t be fair to them. I did the same thing at home too, I took the job my mom is happy, I help my dad at the garage helping him fixing old cars he’s happy. And I felt myself happier than I ever was before. Paradox? Ironic?

I know my health is deteriorating every second. But if I am this happy, I don’t mind. Who knows, having cancer makes me happier. In the mean time, I’m very much excited with my plan.

***

I waited outside the building; I don’t know what time her class ended, her schedule might change, so I waited outside around noon. I heard a lot of footsteps coming, she might be coming here. There were a group of girls, not looking very happy, and as the passed, I heard rude words from one of them. Then a few guys, and then Justin and Fred, followed by Bob and Jenny and they went the other way and they didn’t see me which was good. I just need to talk to Katy, but I’m pretty sure she’ll come up with Joan and Tiffany, who came out right after a bunch of angry group of three guys, and two girls. Katy was not with them. I had to talk to them.

‘Hi, Jo, Tiff, where’s, emm, Katy?’ I ask. They looked quite apprehensive. And a few seconds after that Katy walked out of the building and with her this other guy. I didn’t recognize him. They kissed goodbye and while he went the direction Justin and his gangs went to, Katy walked towards me, Joan and Tiffany. She looked appalled to see me there.

‘We’ll leave you two first, Katy, we’ll be at the coffee house,’ said Tiffany and they bid me goodbye. I muttered a simple okay and they’re off.

‘I don’t think I have much to say to you,’ she started.

‘Me neither, so let me start okay,’ I said. ‘I’m still in love with you, just because I chose to drop out of this school it doesn’t mean I want to break up with you. I don’t know why you make that call, and I wanted to know right now.’

‘I’m not sure how to tell you this, but,’ she said, close to a whisper. ‘Do try, because if you don’t have really good reasons for this, then we’re just breaking up because of silly reasons. And that’s just not worth it,’ I cut her off.

‘It was silly Jeremy, what was I suppose to think? We fight a lot before, and then you dropped out not even telling me about it, tell me Jer, what was I suppose to think?’ she cried. She sobbed, but I didn’t do anything. Not even hold her. We kept out distance.

‘I’m sorry, but I just don’t think I wanted to be a lawyer as much as you guys. I wanted to be fair to myself,’ I explained.

‘Then just tell me that! Am I that stupid to you not to understand that?’ she countered my excuse. She can be really tough, she was. But I really like her. I love her. She’s the first girl I ever love. And she will always be. A part of me wanted to scream out ‘I have leukemia’, but I refrained not to. ‘Never that!’ I exclaimed.

‘Look, I’m sorry for not telling you that, and I just had to tell you I love you. I don’t care how many guys you’re seeing but the fact that I still love you won’t change Katy.’ I said. She pushed me to the side and ran. That’s the last time I saw her for a long time. But my heart didn’t budge. What I feel for her never weathered.

I kept to myself much as time drew nearer. I kept myself busy with teaching, spend more time with my dad at the garage, and then gardening, you know, the kind of things that will keep my mind from thinking I’m dying a slow death. But at nights were the worst. I couldn’t do anything, so I tend to think of my final days, how’s that going to be. And then more time passed by, I started feeling weaker, I ran high fever often, and I found myself not eating very much.

I went to see Dr. Riley again, and he said it can be a lot worse. My whole body will ache, and I can still have emergency treatment, or surgery, but I refused again and again. I told him I had a plan. And at days that I felt fine, I went out to the garden and saw mom had been kind to the vegetables I planted, they looked beautiful, and sometimes she gave me a few cards written by the school kids to me. They had very roughly written ‘Get Well Soon’ with colourful crayons, and some stick figure drawings of me, how cute.

I kept myself cheerful most of the time. Sometimes I went back to the school for a while teaching and then I fell ill again. Dad didn’t allow me with heavy things anymore, he said I looked to thin and ill and insisted me just rest. I feel my days are going passed me like a racing horse. Fast and a little while later finished.

And came this late autumn, it’s getting cold. Only a few days more before the first snowflakes landed on the earth. Cold wind blew, but I felt good. I felt a little strength in me. I walked down to the dining room and my mom was busy plating up food. Dad was in the living room watching the news, it was almost lunch. It didn’t rain, but the grayish cloud thickened made it looked gloomy.

‘Mom, I’m just gonna walk outside for a while,’ I said.

‘It’s cold outside, and you don’t look at all fine!’ she said, her eyebrows raised high. I smiled and told her I’d be fine. ‘I’m just gonna walk along this street and then heads back okay?’ She then let me out of the house but only left the door after I sushed her in.

The streets were bare, only a few fallen leaves lie on it. No kids, no car. I was feeling a little bit cheerful when everything went blank.

If I Have A Little More Time (Part One)

Hey guys, I've been writing on and off, and I really wanted to share a few to you guys! Here's a short story I wrote, titled, IF I HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME, hope you like it! Please comment! I want to get better at this! And if you don't mind, share it okay! :D

IF I HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME (PART ONE)

I waited inside the examination room, waiting for the doctor to come with my result. Was it good, or was it bad, who knows? I didn’t keep my hopes high though; I’ve been feeling terrible all along. I just thought, maybe it’s time for me to know exactly what’s wrong. I couldn’t come up with inadequate reasons anymore. Fever, sore, terrible nosebleed—none of that anymore. I had my guess, but this was the final confirmation to it.

I heard the door creaked open, and Dr. Riley was there. He had a clipboard, with numerous papers on it. I couldn’t judge by his face, he’s totally professional up to this moment. I don’t think good news or bad news have anything different on him anymore. Totally immune to that he was—I could only think.

He sighed, the first sign of not a good result, and sat down opposite of me. There’s a desk full of papers in front of him, but I seemed not to see it. I stared right into his eyes, and nothing else matters to me but the things he’s going to say next.

‘Leukemia, positive,’ he finally said. Not the finest two words anyone ever said to me. Up to that point, I’d take any rude words people wanted to throw. If only things were that easy.

I laughed. Yes, I laughed. Why it’s funny to me I, I cannot tell. But I have a burning desire to laugh, so I laugh. I think no one in his or her right mind would acted the way I am now, but who cares! I have something that 81% died from. My chance of living is 19%, who knows where I might be. Luck hadn’t been a good friend lately, I should know that!

Okay, here’s why it’s funny; I dropped out of college because I don’t think I’m good enough to pursue a career in law, I had issues with the professors and I don’t want to go back there because it sucked! And then I took a part-time job working at a grocery store and at night after work I write, if I’m lucky my ‘novel’ would be published. But no, I’ve written nothing worth publishing, and I had to move back to my parents because I have no money to pay the room I’ve been renting, and I have to quite the grocery store job because my folk’s house is no near to that store. Oh, did I mention Katy dumped me when I left Law School, yes she did. And now I have leukemia. How great was that?

‘Mr. Smith?’

Then I realized there’s a doctor sitting in front of me, who might as well scribbled ‘mentally unstable’ in the paper, and I just stopped.

‘How would you like to do this? There’s sort of, treatment you can go through. They might help,’ he said, as he said it countless of times, easy and not scary at all. But to those who have been on the receiving end of those silently and subconsciously cruel words, they had options to choose from.

‘How much time? How much time left I have?’ I asked before anything else. In my head, I need to come up with a plan.

‘Not much, but we can be wrong at times.’

***

‘Mom, I don’t mind taking your classes sometimes,’ I said at dinner. She had been bugging me about part-time teaching so many times since I moved in. She said if I wanted to write good stuff, worth people reading it, I need experience. I’ve been tuning her off of my sound system but I think it’s pretty great that I took the job, and had my mind wandered off things a bit. What’s the worse could happen teaching kids right?

‘Well, ain’t that great? I didn’t mind nagging Jeremy, but sometimes you need to make up your mind fast,’ she said with a simple smile which makes you feel a bit selfish not smiling back. Well, I’ve made up my mind, mom.

I went up to my room after dinner. I’d spend 18 years in this room; I could see myself back years and years backward just being in this room. The wall painted variations of blue—bright blue, dark blue, ultramarine, and many kinds, in square patterns. My mom and dad help painting this room too and I never change it ever since. It is still my favourite room of all. There’s a table on the furthest corner from my bed, right next to a window, from which I used to peep at the neighbouring kids played on the quiet street. I peered down the windows and saw some kid running on the street, happily, innocent and content. It’s good to be them, kids worry much less than adults.

And now, I have like a year, or less, or more, who knows? Even the doctor can’t be sure. I need to get on my plan. I have everything I need—a computer, a printer, and lots of papers and inks.