Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The End Is Near:The Sequel

I'm loving this title..hahahaha...partly because yes it's true the end is near, yes, the end of the world is near, only we don't know when and I'm doubting in 2012 becasue it can be sooner than that, or later than that, so don't waste your time counting when is the end of the world because you'll never know, and partly becasue even when people predict 2012 is the Doomsday people still won't repent. So what's the point really?
The end I'm saying here is the edn of the semester, I'm gonna go home this Friday!! Yey!! My last paper is on Thursday, gonna have some fun with my friends afterwards, the plan is to have a nice picnic at Sungai Pisang and then start packing for HOME, my beloved HOME....:))))..although this rescheduled thing(yeah, my flight got rescheduled, later than the original time) troubles me a bit, but nonetheless, home is still my destination right???
So, cheers to a place call HOME!!!

Monday, March 29, 2010

From Deep Within

I never thought it would be this much a hurt to me
I always thought this could be a good thing
I always thought this is for the best
From what I saw it is the best
But for me myself I don't know
It's just...too much for me now
I never try to make important decision for the best for myself
I always feel like the need to sacrifice for the greater good
Which I will not be getting
For I give it away
I thought I will be the good guy here
But almost all the time
I feel this emptiness deep inside of me
It's like a hole
Only growing bigger and bigger at times
Only hollow, only sorrow
Masked by my smiles and laughter
I guess I never stand up for what I love
I just give it away
You know, people say, love is something you must give away
People also say sometimes you have to let something you love go
But for how long do I have to keep letting something I love go?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea?

Love is not just about you giving love to somebody, without them giving it back to you. Nor did it happened the other way round. Love is about mutual relationship between two people, when you gave it to somebody, they took it with open arms and open hearts.

My love is not here yet, I should just be patient and wait for the time to come. Not now, maybe tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, another five years, who knows. People always say, there's plenty of fish in the sea, you miss a fish, there will always be next(I guess that's true, not a fan of fishing...:P). So I guess I have to put my bait in the see a little while longer, reel it in slowly and slowly till I think a big catch is coming.

To you two, I'm really happy for you, and I will always pray for your happiness...cheers! :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Will You Stand Your Ground? Or You Just Flee From This Battlefield?

I want to believe
That the light still shines
Although I might be blind to see
I want to feel the warmth
I want to feel the comfort
But as far as I know
I'm freezing cold
Even with my thick sweater couldn't hold

I want to believe
That spring is in the air
Although I might be colour blind to see
All the different flowers blooming
I want to see the colours like rainbow
I want to see the red rose
blue periwinkle
white azaleas
But as far as I see
Only gray is there to see

I still want to believe
But for how long should I keep my hope high?
For how long should I stand my ground?
For how long should I be tortured?
Before I fall forever
Or I could just flee
From this treacherous battlefield
From this neverending misery
The last question for the answer I seek
Do you still want to believe?

Exam Week

Portfolio week was on Monday and Tuesday, got Malay language exam on Wednesday ans there will be people coming to visit the landscape architecture department in the morning till noon, followed by replacement of history class as well as a bit of test..well, pretty much a busy week, despite the end of studio still no rest..:), what can I say anyway right...just live it, and love it...:) (i'm keeping myself in positive mood here guys, im going back really soon..another :)...hahahaha)

So guys, wish me luck! And o Allah, give me strength to carry on as much as I can despite all the troubles I'm facing right now. I know you did these to test me. May I succeed in overcoming these things. Ameen.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Moving On

I still feel like my grandma is around. Seriously, I don't feel anything, and it gets me feeling kinda selfish. Am I suppose to feel very sad about her passed away? Am I suppose to cry?

Moving on with my life.

We all should move on right?

I got my favorite for AI already!

1-Lee Dewyze
2-Siobhan Magnus
3-Casey James
4-Aaron Kelly
5-Crystal Bowersox

My top five!

The Days I Lost My Grandmas...

I remembered about four years ago, my dad called and told me to go home. My grandma was very sick. I haven't arrived at home but when my dad pick me from the bus station, he said, she's gone. I don't know what to say, I definitely don't want to cry. I don't even get to see her again, in her late days, for the last time. I wish that she could see me for the last time.

And tonight, I feel like the whole thing is repeating itself again. My grandma had passed away just a few minutes ago. I still am not there. I wish she could just see me again for the last time. Why am I not present everytime my grandmas passed away? I am not crying but I still am feeling guilty for four years, and what now? Double guilty?

I just wish I was there with my family. Maybe be a comfort to them. I just wish I can. Oh Allah, may you let them be in your heaven.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The End Is Near...

Nice title right? Gosh after four months here; wait, let me rephrase that, after four months of fallout, triumph, struggles, fights, and so many things, I am so happy that the semester's gonna end very soon. I bought my tickets home already and I really can't wait to see my family again, rest for a while, maybe get a job then, get my license so I can hit the road go many things to three whole months!!! But before that, I got portfolio days, so I think I'm still having sleep deprivation a little bit longer, and then exams...well, five papers only. I'm not sure I'm prepared for exam, but, I'll work it out. See how they turn out later on when I get the result. So, the end is near is it? Alright, I'm referring to the end of the semester, I just hope I pass design studio 2 so I can go for design studio 3 with my friends for the new year of study this July. I'm praying hard(and working hard to finish all the prjects to claim more marks...XDDD) I'm not gonna stuck at DS2...hahahaha...well, I think it kinda suck seeing your friends go uo when you stuck down there repeating the same subject right, plus, with other people...who wants that? So, pray hard dear Me, work hard too, so you are not gonna repeat design subject, because you pretty damn well know if you did, you spent 5 years in this university instead of just 4. XDDD.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Getting Back On My Feet, And My Faith

I was so busy finding the worldly love, until I forgot the fact that my utmost love should be place to Al-Mighty Allah. Forgive me Allah for being too carried away in this worldly matter. For I should have know better that you will provide a suitable woman for every people in this world including me.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Standing In The Rain

I wish we could just stand in the rain and all our memories got washed away. Some are too painful to put off my mind, too sticky like a stubborn bubble gum. Some are just the kind of decision we made without further thinking, and the consequences we have to face after that are pretty much the harshest(is there such superlatives?).

Sometimes you know, you realize, you are aware that Allah is always there, watching everything you do, recorded by His two Archangels, good or evil, if good, then bless you, but if it's evil, you just keep going on with it. No mercy to yourself. No feeling of ashamed to yourself. What you do is, say things like, "Just this one time, and that's it". What do you do? Go.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Come On Now, Get Your Pen!!!

I am still very lazy.
My laziness scale goes up pass maximum.
I hate this week!
I hate last week!
Give me the strength to carry on.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A Whole Lotta Sleep

This week has been a busy week, yes, I am more than acknowledged about that, but the problem is, I kinda get to addicted to sleep. I don't sleep during daytime but I have classes at that time so I don't really have time to work on my project(unless I skipped classes). So nighttime are the perfect time to actually do the project, however, I got drowsy a bit too early, and it seems stronger and stronger everyday. That causes me to lag behind my friends in terms of progress. Now I'm on the slowest track I guess. I don't really want to ask for help from others because I believe they got their works too(some offers to help, but you know...I'm shy....Hahahahahaha...).Okay back to business. Can anybody tell me how to not to sleep? Coffee didn't work for me anymore.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Like A Mess

This week I would call as the 'Submission And Presentation Week', there are a lot of submission and presentation to be done. Make my head ache like crazy.Aiya~I guess that's what you get(hahaha...Paramore!!!) when you procrastinate and always think like, 'hey, it's just this, I can finish it in no time'. I tell you, that statement kills you!Hahaha...yeah, this week skipping classes is like so fine. I'm sorry, I never meant to, but I had to.

Tomorrow my uncle and his wife are gonna arrive in KL, I haven't ask Madam SM if I can skip class after submission. They need someone to show them way around the city and I am the only one they can count on. Hahaha, I don't mean to skip class this time, I am thinking of getting her permission for just this one time. I'm good right?

Weekend also didn't really feel like weekend, not with all the workloads I have behind my back, I can't even straighten up myself, well, literally speaking. I can't wait for this semester to end, then I got a whole three months of holiday. No study, no pressure!Hahaha...ok, gotta eat now.

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