I talk to a friend of mine. I usually need some comfort from really good friends when I am in my paranoid moment like when my texts doesn't get a reply or when some one bail on me for no apparent reason. It was nothing big, but I guess sometimes I think I just need people to remind me that sometimes I need to back off. I have been backing off all my life I guess, that at certain time that I should have backed off, I didn't. And then I get all panicky.
I know it seems like I have been emotionally unstable of late. I can't say I didn't. Because I am. Why would I lie to myself, telling me I'm good, I'm great when I truly suffer inside. It's just that sometimes it sucks being on the receiving end of empty promises. Vague promises hurts even more. It's a false hope. So I told my friend about my situation and he said to me, 'you should have known better'. I guess I should have. But now I don't know if I ever learn anything.
You might notice that I didn't mention what's the problem is all about. But i guess it's better if you don't know. I'm writing this is merely to outsource my frustration. I can't keep all my feelings inside of me or I might do something stupid. If feel like I have been rambling a lot lately, please bear with me. Thank you.