They Are At Firms, I Am At Home

I heard some good news from my friends. They have started their practical training in various landscape architecture firms. Everyone got a firm each which was pretty bad-ass. I should have been there with them, experiencing what it's like to work with real landscape architects, it would have been challenging, but it would have also been fun. I know what my decision's repercussion would be against me, but as I said before, I need a very much needed break. But it doesn't stop me from being jealous of where my friends are at now. A good jealous of course. I can't stop thinking, what if...just what if I don't take a break. What if I plough through the semesters like every other people, what if, I was healthy enough?

I can still remember in my second year, second semester. I was doing fine the first few months, great projects, I was really enthusiastic, but something happened towards the end. I don't want to discuss about it, it was a health issue really, but something happened that made me, kinda lose it. And I remember how hard it was when I was in London for two weeks after that. It was a journey of a lifetime for me, so for that, I plough through. But yeah, it was crazy.

But again, this isn't about me, this is about my friends. My successful friends, my friends who never give up like I did, I really am happy to know that they doing well after I'm gone, I'm glad that they made contact with me sometimes to update with what's going on. I heard what people commented them on, and they were positive comments, so of course I'm very happy for them. I'm feeling like tearing up writing this, seriously! I missed them so much, I feel like I've grown so much after spending a few years with these guys. But I know if I were to go back there, I have to accept the fact that it won't be the same again. We're not in the same class, in the same studio, it's going to be a little bit hard to handle and getting used to new people. 

I'm not really good with new people, but when we were in our first year, we had this part-time lecturer, to me one of the best lecturer we've ever had, although he was doing part-time teaching. He really gathered us together as a family. The first activity we did together was, a short trekking to a small waterfall just behind our university. It was great, it was the moment that I feel like, 'hey, these guys aren't that bad...' And we just clicked.

And the studio, our first studio, it was like home to us all. We've got meeting table, work stations, then pantry plus a place to rest and sleep, and dining table, no, not dining table, a 'bar' we called it. And when we were forced to abandoned that studio for a tutorial room as a studio during second semester, we were at first  mad about it. But since we were like the smallest batch compared to other batches, we understand it, although that took quite a while to sink in.

We've made a lot of memories together, you would understand too if you've gone through university years or college years. If you've created a strong bond with a group of people, it's hard to let go, no matter how long it was. It's been more than year since I've met them. I know I've missed on a lot of things. And I also know I missed them.

Perangai Mahasiswa

Assalamualaikum. Aku baru tengok video bertajuk 'Detik Cemat Perhimpunan Mahasiswa 1 Januari 2012 di UPSI'. Aku baca dari blog Joegrimjow. Video tu boleh dapat di Youtube (klik sini).  Aku malas nak tunjuk kat sini. Aku tak nak bersedih setiap kali bukak blog. Serius, aku sedih bertambah kecewa dengan sikap segelintir mahasiswa yang beria-ia sangat nak tolak AUKU. Tapi aku pasti, mungkin 80% peratus daripada mereka yang join perhimpunan ni tak tau keseluruhan AUKU. Tau nak tolak yang diorang tak suka ja. Tau2 dah kata AUKU ni zalim. Betul, dalam video tu diorang ada sebut tolak kezaliman. So aku nak tanyalah kat korang2 yang baca blog aku ni. Btol ke AUKU ni zalim? Meh tengok rasional pengenalan AUKU (sebelum nak bantai betul2 AUKU ni) dari salah seorang yang memperkenalkan AUKU kpada kita, tak lain tak bukan, Tun Mahathir (klik je). 

Dah baca? Dah tau kenapa dulu diperkenalkan kepada kita AUKU ni? Kalau dah tu jadi rasional tak mahasiswa2 sekarang nak mintak balik, nak mintak pinda, nak tolah AUKU ni? Dah ada politik universiti, tu pun kadang2 aku dengar sampai get out of hand. Baru politik universiti bai...dah gaduh2 semua. Ni kan nak join politik luar? Nak join BN, nak join PKR. Padahal ramainya yang dapat biasiswa dan pinjam duit PTPTN. Nak sibuk2 berdemo buat hal? Aku yakin ada jalan lagi elok dan munasabah dari berdemo macam tu. Serious. Apa guna ada pertandingan debat antara universiti, pertandingan debat dalam universiti kalau tak dijadikan platform yang lebih sah dan adil dan tak menimbulkan masalah dari diguna? Apa guna kita berforum tak habis2 pasal Palestin bila isu dalam negara kita kurang forumnya? Lepas tu nanti nak salahkan pihak universiti atau kerajaan tak bagi peluang untuk jiwa-jiwa remaja yang kuat memberontak ni untuk menyuarakan pendapat. Dan bila dikasari oleh pihak polis sampai cedera nak salahkan polis pulak? Macam tu? Orang tak suruh berdemo, bila kena kasar sikit, nak salahkan orang lain. Ape cer weh logik mahasiswa tak betul camni?

Betul, at times kita kena fight for our right. Tapi bagi aku isu mahasiswa nak join politik luar ni, tak perlu sebenarnya. Serius tak perlu. Sebab tu orang dulu tak kisah sangat, diorang tau apa lagi penting berbanding orang sekarang. Tapi bila zaman dah jadi moden, semua orang nak bebas berkata, semua nak freedom, freedom memanjang tak abis2, lepas ni nak apa pulak? Freedom dari religion? Nauzubillahi min zaliq. Kita fight for what is important. 

Aku tau sekarang ni orang2 muda ramai yang tak suka kerajaan. Kawan aku pun ramai, aku tak kisah, buat apa aku nak cerita2 ngan diorang kan? Persahabatan tu lagi penting dari isu2 politik. Tapi bila aku tengok balik, orang kata kerajaan ni corrupt, tapi aku tak nampak pun PKR buat yang terbaik. Masih tahi di balas tahi. Kat twitter bukan main banyak lagi kutuk TV3, anjing kerajaan katanya. AHAHAHA. Media2 bertulis yang mainstream ni pun kena tempias macam tu jugak. AHAHA. Bullshit Utama katanya lagi untuk Buletin Utama TV3. Macam ni kah rakyat sekarang? Freedom kan. Nak shitty shitty everything pun tak kisah. 

Seriously, kalau korang ada kawan yang korang tahu tak sama persefahaman politik ngan korang, elakkan berbicara pasal politik, jangan sama sekali. Tak baik untuk persahabatan korang. I don't know why people tend to get so uptight when it comes to politic. So kalau aku nak kata apa bullshit, I think politic fits right. Serious aku tak suka. Tapi topik ni setiap hari setiap saat ada je timbul kat mana2, tak boleh diignore dah. Nak tak nak bacalah. Baca, faham, dan aku tengok dari perspective aku. 

Ni aku dapat dari MalaysiaKini, (klik untuk artikel penuh) katanya; 

"Golongan mahasiswa hari ini lebih rela mengeluarkan RM5 sejam untuk menyewa kereta Kancil untuk membawa teman wanita keluar makan di Sri Hartamas, daripada membeli majalah ilmiah sebagai bahan bacaan tambahan. Kenapa semua ini berlaku? Bukankah ia berpunca dari Auku yang menutup ruang untuk golongan mahasiswa ini berfikir dan bertindak dengan lebih luas lagi?"

Soalan aku, apa kaitan mahasiswa bawak perempuan dating dengan AUKU? Seriously, aku rasa author article ni mungkin ada point lain yang lagi munasabah, terlupa nak include, but this is not one of it. 

Aku teringat dulu, cikgu Add Maths aku ada bagitau, fungsi opposition adalah untuk balance kan balik kerajaan. One side aje memang tak bolehlah kan. Hukum fizik pun ada nyatakan, 'to every action, there is equal and opposite re-action.' Tu Newton's third law of motion. Bukannya fungsi opposition asyik nak condemn semua yang government buat. Yang betul tak nak puji. Yang salah dekeji-keji. Betul, aku ikhlas. Dan kalau korang tanya aku aku sokong siapa. Aku cakap aku sokong kerajaan. Apa aku nak takut kan? Sebab pada aku kerajaan buat yang the best untuk rakyatnya. And kalau anda penyokong opposition, anda mungkin tak setuju. Tapi tidak bersetujulah dengan cara yang elok. Bukan nak keji2 aku sebab aku sokong kerajaan. Respect my views, because I respect yours. 

What I don't agree is how the students react. I think this is too much. I respect your opinion. Sekian. 


[UPDATE] p/s- ni dia link untuk AUKU yang full (pindaan 2006, pindaan 2009 tak dpt full version). korang boleh baca apa yang ada sebenarnya dalam AUKU. Adil ke tak adil pada korang? Lepas tu save dalam laptop. Jangan tak tau apa2 join berdemo sebab nak tolak satu perkara saja dari akta tu. Ni diantara yang telah dipinda dari UTHM. Tapi tak full lah.

All The Thank Yous

Alhamdulillah....and Wow!

I'm 20! 20 years old today!

I love all the things I've done before,

The shape me into what I am now,

If there are mistakes, we learn from them,

If there are success, we try to achieve more,

Not greedy, but to make life even better,

I would like to make a toast,

Let's hope that from this day onwards,

we'll achieve something great,

something memorable,

something that all of us will remember for the rest of our lives!

I would like to say something to my friends, especially my studiomates,

Akram, thank you for being such a good friend who would listen to my whining

Aideel, thank you for the songs you sang and I wish to hear more

Kamal, thank you for keeping something precious and I hope you keep it for the rest of your live

Aman, thank you for being such a people who can annoy me, but at the same time cheer me like no other would

Manai, I enjoy our 'sharing moment' very much

Kim, thank you for introducing me to Korea, I'd love to go there when I can

Jiji, thank you for being the cool guy and thanks for the ride too

Pus, thanks for all the pictures and I miss your camera!hahaa

Fatin, thanks for being a very good sister to all of us

Am, thanks for all things you say to make me laugh, you do really lighten up my day

Nana, thanks for being cute all the time

Ummi, thanks for bringing the indie mood

Dayah, thanks for always being sweet and nice

Za, thanks for remembering us all the time

Mona, thanks for being the best, and short counterpart

Ana, thanks for the food!

Kekek, thanks for the spirit you showed us

Tikashi, thanks for your patience of my annoying behaviour

Ika, thanks for your leadership and talking skills, you make the class alive

Arinah, thanks for all the slumber jokes you make

Ami, thanks for being happy!

Eja, thanks for always being a baby, hahaha

Maryam, thanks for Les Choristes and your very good leadership

Anis Fadhilah, thanks for the ice-cream, and for willing to listen to my complaints

Anis Fatihah, thanks for being such a lovely lady in the studio(sorry Aideel!hahaha)

To the lecturers,

Mdm Iza, thanks for being such a straight forward lecturer, thanks for all the advice, we all love you!

Bro Ardi, thanks for let us sing if we come late, thanks for being very strict, you taught us a lot about time,

Bro Shah, thanks for being a friend and taught me drawings and Mudah, you really have memperMUDAHkan my life in studio

Bro Rashidi, thanks for being the coolest lecturer!

Cik Khalid, thanks for making me Kebal! You taught us only the very best!

I have a lot of friends to thank, writing them all would take a day or two,

but I really thanked you for helping all this time and without you, I'll never be the one I am right now. Thanks!

And to myself, Happy 2oth Birthday Birthday Boy!

Lonely Boy

Eventhough I'm back home, a place where I've been longing to be in, it's kinda lonely here. All I have are like virtual friends, who I met at Facebook, or Kawanlah(yes, this Kawanlah thing exist, it's Malaysian.....Friendster...hahahaha), or YM...I want real friends, real being so I can talk with, go out with osmetimes but it's hard to find one here. None of my friends back in primary school are here, the guys, I think, are all working already, the girls, some are in college, some are working, some already got children to feed, aiya...

I really missed my studiomates, been dying to meet them again, about three months from now, missed all the laugh we had, all the sensitive moments, and together with Anis and Akram having ice-cream every late afternoon, I missed all that...I want to do something here, with friends...I did met some students a few days back when they got activities here in my village, I got to talk with them for a while and I do felt really good, but they stayed only for two days only then they head back to college, aiya....hey, who wanna hang out with me this weekend???? p/s--->to Sarawakian or people who can and are willing to travel long distance only...hahaahha