They Are At Firms, I Am At Home

I heard some good news from my friends. They have started their practical training in various landscape architecture firms. Everyone got a firm each which was pretty bad-ass. I should have been there with them, experiencing what it's like to work with real landscape architects, it would have been challenging, but it would have also been fun. I know what my decision's repercussion would be against me, but as I said before, I need a very much needed break. But it doesn't stop me from being jealous of where my friends are at now. A good jealous of course. I can't stop thinking, what if...just what if I don't take a break. What if I plough through the semesters like every other people, what if, I was healthy enough?

I can still remember in my second year, second semester. I was doing fine the first few months, great projects, I was really enthusiastic, but something happened towards the end. I don't want to discuss about it, it was a health issue really, but something happened that made me, kinda lose it. And I remember how hard it was when I was in London for two weeks after that. It was a journey of a lifetime for me, so for that, I plough through. But yeah, it was crazy.

But again, this isn't about me, this is about my friends. My successful friends, my friends who never give up like I did, I really am happy to know that they doing well after I'm gone, I'm glad that they made contact with me sometimes to update with what's going on. I heard what people commented them on, and they were positive comments, so of course I'm very happy for them. I'm feeling like tearing up writing this, seriously! I missed them so much, I feel like I've grown so much after spending a few years with these guys. But I know if I were to go back there, I have to accept the fact that it won't be the same again. We're not in the same class, in the same studio, it's going to be a little bit hard to handle and getting used to new people. 

I'm not really good with new people, but when we were in our first year, we had this part-time lecturer, to me one of the best lecturer we've ever had, although he was doing part-time teaching. He really gathered us together as a family. The first activity we did together was, a short trekking to a small waterfall just behind our university. It was great, it was the moment that I feel like, 'hey, these guys aren't that bad...' And we just clicked.

And the studio, our first studio, it was like home to us all. We've got meeting table, work stations, then pantry plus a place to rest and sleep, and dining table, no, not dining table, a 'bar' we called it. And when we were forced to abandoned that studio for a tutorial room as a studio during second semester, we were at first  mad about it. But since we were like the smallest batch compared to other batches, we understand it, although that took quite a while to sink in.

We've made a lot of memories together, you would understand too if you've gone through university years or college years. If you've created a strong bond with a group of people, it's hard to let go, no matter how long it was. It's been more than year since I've met them. I know I've missed on a lot of things. And I also know I missed them.

What I Miss

Assalamualaikum semua!

Budak-budak UIA dah start kelas dah, seminggu dah kot. Kalau aku cakap aku tak rindu, memang tipu lah sangat. Dulu aku rasa macam akulah yang selalu datang paling awal kat kampus, AHAHA. Yelah, nak pergi sana dari Sarawak kena naik flight all that stuff, boleh tahan lamalah (tapi agak2 orang Kelantan naik bas lagi lama kot). 

Banyak benda yang aku rindu kat sana, terutama kawan-kawan. So kadang-kadang nak lepas rindu tu aku tengok balik gambar kitorang, AHAHA, I know, creepy, but it's the truth. So, ari ni aku nak list apa yang aku rindu tentang UIA.

1) Aku rindu suasana busy di KAED. Walaupun studio tutup pukul 11 setiap hari (kalau tak mintak extend) tapi ramai gak yang cari bilik tutorial untuk buat kerja, kadang kena kongsi, kat gallery lagilah ramai kengkadang...rindu pulak nak tengok budak-budak KAED tengah struggle buat projek..er, design project okay!

2) Aku rindu makanan kat UIA. Aku ni jenis yang boleh kata agak konsisten when it comes to the thing that I like, ataupu dengan perkara yang dah biasa dibuat regularly. Macam dulu masa kat PJ, tiap-tiap malam nak makan chicken chop sambil.....eh, yang tu tak payah cakap, bila kat UIA Gombak, pergi HS order Nasi Goreng Kampung Tak Nak Sayur kat kedai Noodles ape ntah, kalau kat Mahallah Ali beli yogurt ngan yong tau fu, pergi foodcourt KAED beli Nasi Ayam, pergi Farouq, Ayam KFC Cinta atau Daging masak kicap, tambah ngan French Fries, kat Bilal nasi lemak murah, perghh...rindu siottt!

3) Rindu nak berjalan pergi kelas. Sememangnya aku jenis yang jarang bersukan, so macam berjalan tulah aku nye sukan aku boleh buat, sambil nak pergi kelaskan. 

4) Rindu nak pergi berenang. Dulu pergi berenang ngan Akram ngn Kamal. Awal-awal berkecimpung (perghh) ngan berenang ni, malu kot. Nampak semua macam berenang dengan teknik, aku ni orang kampung mana blajar teknik-teknik berenang yang betol, AHAHA, dulu mandi sungai je, dari jeti buat cannonball terus, terapung ke tak lepas tu belakang kira AHAHA. Bila dah belajar sikit-sikit dari Kamal, okaylah...kurang sikit malunya....

5) Pergi 'shopping' di kedai printing dalam UIA. AHAHA. Kalau tak print, pergi sana nak beli ais-krim je pun ngan Akram ngan Anis, ahaha...kalau petang, duduk dekat depan sungai, walaupun kalau tengok air sungai tu lama-lama boleh menurunkan selera makan. AHAHA. Tapi kadang bila dah dekat tarikh submission, boleh tahan ramai yang berbaris nak print, especially kalau print yang besar-besar punya. Nak murah punya pasal, kat luar mahal! 

6) Rindu nak drive kereta Arinah. AHAHA. Yang ni sumpah, aku biasa dengan tanpa segan silunya pinjam kereta Kancil Arinah, tapi buat baik sikitlah, macam, nak beli makanan nanti tolong belikan makanan diorang sekali. Trick ni work very well tengah diorang busy buat drawing, kekekeke. Kadang-kadang mintak drive balik malam-malam kalau rasa malas nak berjalan, yang penting aku drive dulu AHAHA.

7) Rindu nak rasa 'free' setiap kali lepas Solat Jumaat. Sebab lepas tu rasa macam studio dah tak lama dah, and bila lecturer keluar je rasa macam seluruh beban kat bahu dah tak ada, padahal kerja belambak nak kena buat before Isnin ;P.

8) Rindu nak pergi Pasar Malam, walaupun kadang-kadang pergi dengan niat yang tak berapa baik di hati (contoh macam nak usya budak BMI AHAHA) tapi paling penting kena carik cendawan goreng, perghhh! Lepas tu yong tau fu...fullamak, probably berbelanja tahap gaban setiap hari Rabu tu.

9) Mungkin rindu nak eskep kelas? erk!

10) Rindu dengan rasa, tak pernah sunyi. Setiap hari ada je benda. Kalau tak jumpa kawan-kawan studio, jumpa kawan satu Kuliyyah, kalau tak tu, jumpa kawan sekolah dulu, kalau tak tu jugak, jumpa rakan-rakan satu negeri.

Aku memang rindu kan suasana tu. Orang kata, pengalaman tu tak boleh di beli, kita kena lalui baru boleh dapat. Tapi aku tak tau lah boleh pergi ke tak nanti, Aku harap sangat dapat pergi balik sana, walaupun sekejap.

2011 In Memory, 2012 A Brand New Vision

Assalamualaikum 2012! Wassalam 2011! HAPPY NEW YEAR untuk semua!

Jangan jeles! ;P

Buku untuk tahun 2011 dah ditutup secara rasminya di Malaysia. Harap disebalik laungan "Happy New Year' malam ni takda apalah yang tak berlaku...ameen... Tahun 2011 bagi aku bukanlah tahun terbaik. Yes, I have some of the best memories made in 2011, but I too succumb to my worst fear in the same year. Senang cakap, I experienced both extremes dalam tahun 2011, yang terbaik dan yang terburuk.

Apakah yang terbaik? 

Dah lama aku pendam impian nak pergi ke negara-negara Eropah. Dulu masa sekolah menengah memang berangan nak sambung blaja oversea you know, tapi apakan daya, bukan rezeki aku nak belajar dengan kawan aku di France or UK, atau pun di Jepun mahupun di USA. AHAHA so bila dapat pergi ke London and Paris in one trip I felt very lucky, despite aral melintang ditengah jalan, alhamdulillah one of my dreams came true in April. 

But the trip alone is not gonna give me sweet memory, it's the one accompanying me that really stays in my heart. Who? My studiomates of course! Here; credit goes to Ika sebab aku culik gamba2 ni dari facebook dia AHAHAHA. Aku lupa aku letak gamba2 aku dalam external HDD -___-" lupa nak bawak. So thanks Ika! 

The Ladies' man, bukan lady-like man okeh! AHAHA

Wajah2 yang aku rindu selalu...

Two of my bestfriends :) Aideel, Azam, Akram - 3A

Benda2 bodoh lucu macam ni lah aku rindu AHAHAHA 

Okay yang tu bolehlah dikatakan one of the sweetest moment in my life. But I had one of the worst this year tu. Penyakit. Penyakit apa, I don't think perlu bagitau kat sini dulu. Cukuplah aku dah tau there's something abnormal about my body that i should take care of. Nombor dua worst thing, I have to extend my studies. Yeah, memang nampak macam aku tak kisah nak extend setahun, taking a break. But deep in my heart aku sedih sebab kena extend lagi one year, and terpaksa berpisah dengan studiomates asal, and maybe nanti jumpa studiomates baru. Bagi aku it's not the best feeling. Although the one year break I'm currently having is very much needed to be with my family, to get back on track with my health and stuff, but still I hate the fact that I'm not going to be in the same studio with the my guys.

Bagi aku, mixing with new people is not that easy. Awal2 aku bercampur ngan diorang2 atas ni pun, semua ingat aku macam innocent giler AHAHAA padahal aku ni nakal dalam diam ;P. Aku biasa nervous bila nak bergaul dengan orang-orang baru. It's not always easy to meet new people. For me probably ten times of that of normal people AHAHAHA. Dulu kawan aku cakap aku ni probably sociophobic dengan cara aku behave dalam suasana ramai orang. Aku sebenarnya kurang senang dengan tempat ramai orang, especially majlis rasmi. So mungkin masa abang aku kahwin nanti aku kena siap2kan mental aku dulu. And lagi lah kalau aku yang nak kahwin. AHAHAHA.

So tu je, Selamat Tahun Baru 2012, kalau tahun lepas didn't go so well, work hard to make this year a fruitful one, the happier one, the better one, than the previous years okeh! Kita sama-samalah berdoa dan berusaha kearah itu. 

p/s- lama gila nak tulis post ni padahal sikit je pun, sebab sekejap mata aku tengon Inception, sekejap menulis balik, lepas tu pandang TV balik...AHAHAHA...

p/s #2- Aku akan come up with one post regarding my health after some test :) Jangan risau, probably nothing, probably aku just terlebih paranoid, yeahh, imaginasi aku kadang2 jadi satu aset, tapi kadang2 buat aku paranoid AHAHAHAHA.

p/s #3- AHAHAHAHA tu gelak internet aku, tableh lari dari tu daaaa...AHAHAHA

Jiwa Sentimental Tengok Kawan-Kawan Happy

Assalamualaikum... So today aku dapat lihat wajah-wajah ceria bekas (yes, bekas) budak studio aku dulu yang baru habis internal portfolio hari ni, maybe ada lagi satu external kot lpas ni aku tak tau laa.. Sebak rasa tengok diorang semua happy happy nampaknya AHAHAHA, kalau sebak tu, dah tentu sebabnya rasa rindu... Diorg ni, bukan mcm classmate biasa, diorang ni studiomates, and sepanjang dua tahun bersama diorang, dah rasa macam satu family...bagi aku lah...tengok2 gambar dalam facebook oleh Ika tadi tu, menitik plak air mata, sayu siott...jantan memang jantan, tapi hati aku taklah sekeras batu, aku memang sangat menilai sentimental value sesuatu tu...so bila tengok gambar diorang, aku ingat masa aku bersama diorang, aku ingat semasa aku berada dalam gambar bersama diorang...

Kalau aku kembali pun ke UIA tahun depan, yang pastinya aku bukan lagi satu studio ngan diorang, things will be different, memang rasa a little bit childish yang aku macam tak bleh nak comprehend the thoughts of not being with them... Aku dah rasa for more than six months tak bersama diorang, and it's not pretty. It's not my intention just to leave them like that, but it's very circumstantial. Nanti2lah explain part tu. And most probably I will not be back to UIA. I'll explain that later too.

Anyway, kalau ada diantara diorang yang baca ni, harap2 ada, macam Fatin ngan Ika yang ada blog tu, aku harap diorang baca, just nak bagi tau, I'm so proud of you guys, broke my heart to leave you guys, I really wanted to be a part of Studio Kecil back, but I don't know if I ever could. Aku just nak bagitau, aku tak pernah lupa korang, aku memang rindu korang sangat2, aku serius bila aku cakap aku menangis tengok gambar yang Ika post tu. And I hope that says something. :)

Inilah diorang2 yang selalu menceriakan hidup aku kat UIA dulu