Thursday, June 14, 2012

They Are At Firms, I Am At Home

I heard some good news from my friends. They have started their practical training in various landscape architecture firms. Everyone got a firm each which was pretty bad-ass. I should have been there with them, experiencing what it's like to work with real landscape architects, it would have been challenging, but it would have also been fun. I know what my decision's repercussion would be against me, but as I said before, I need a very much needed break. But it doesn't stop me from being jealous of where my friends are at now. A good jealous of course. I can't stop thinking, what if...just what if I don't take a break. What if I plough through the semesters like every other people, what if, I was healthy enough?

I can still remember in my second year, second semester. I was doing fine the first few months, great projects, I was really enthusiastic, but something happened towards the end. I don't want to discuss about it, it was a health issue really, but something happened that made me, kinda lose it. And I remember how hard it was when I was in London for two weeks after that. It was a journey of a lifetime for me, so for that, I plough through. But yeah, it was crazy.

But again, this isn't about me, this is about my friends. My successful friends, my friends who never give up like I did, I really am happy to know that they doing well after I'm gone, I'm glad that they made contact with me sometimes to update with what's going on. I heard what people commented them on, and they were positive comments, so of course I'm very happy for them. I'm feeling like tearing up writing this, seriously! I missed them so much, I feel like I've grown so much after spending a few years with these guys. But I know if I were to go back there, I have to accept the fact that it won't be the same again. We're not in the same class, in the same studio, it's going to be a little bit hard to handle and getting used to new people. 

I'm not really good with new people, but when we were in our first year, we had this part-time lecturer, to me one of the best lecturer we've ever had, although he was doing part-time teaching. He really gathered us together as a family. The first activity we did together was, a short trekking to a small waterfall just behind our university. It was great, it was the moment that I feel like, 'hey, these guys aren't that bad...' And we just clicked.

And the studio, our first studio, it was like home to us all. We've got meeting table, work stations, then pantry plus a place to rest and sleep, and dining table, no, not dining table, a 'bar' we called it. And when we were forced to abandoned that studio for a tutorial room as a studio during second semester, we were at first  mad about it. But since we were like the smallest batch compared to other batches, we understand it, although that took quite a while to sink in.

We've made a lot of memories together, you would understand too if you've gone through university years or college years. If you've created a strong bond with a group of people, it's hard to let go, no matter how long it was. It's been more than year since I've met them. I know I've missed on a lot of things. And I also know I missed them.


  1. salam azam,

    huhu..lama dah tak update blog n jalan2 blog org lain... nice post nway..hehe...ftn yg prctical seminggu pun dah rsa rindu dgn uia n surrounding blaja , the people...apatah lagi azam kan? but..semua ni, namanya kehidupan, apa yg diaturkan. tu yg terbaik ntuk kita...cuma kita perlu pndang everything dr susut yg postif supaya kita sentiasa ada rasa bersyukur.. :)

    doakan kami semua,
    dan untuk azam, semoga yang terbaik untuk azam!

    ameen inshaAllah.


    1. thanks fatin. semakin lama semakin rindu. lama sangat tak lepak sama. tapi yelah, kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan. ketentuan saya untuk tak bersama fatin n the gang :') sedih, but ada hikmahnya insyaAllah.

      saya selalu bagitau fatin, saya selalu doakan fatin n the gang yang the best. that's all that i can do for now. :)

      thanks ye fatin baca jugak post saya ni dalam busy bekerja :)

  2. ahah..sebenarnya dah lma tak berblog nih... mmg busy azam nk jenguk2 pun.. thanks sgt2 untuk doanya, inshaAllah para malaikat pun sdg mendoakan azam..semoga yg terbaik untuk kita semua! amin!

    so ape plan azam lepas ni?

    1. insyaAllah ada plan yang baik, harap-harap jadi kenyataan ;) thanks fatin!

  3. Hi Azamm!! :)
    Baru nak blog-walking kat blog kengkawan. :)
    Btw, long time no see. I hope u're doing fine with your daily activities. Be well and take good care of urself. :)

    1. ahaha thanks Za! all the best to you as well! :D


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